“The Name of the Doctor” S07E13 Doctor Who Review

Spoilers!  Steven Moffat is a tease.  He goes and calls an episode ‘The Name of the Doctor’ and of course, reveals something completely different.  Not that I fully understand what he revealed, but at least he revealed something.  This almost happened the wrong way round though, as someone in the Doctor Who offices fucked up big time and sent 210 blu-rays of the complete series 7 part 2 out to American fans about a week before the big finale.  Meaning that the secret was out, and in this age of forums and review sites, was bound to be leaked.  So what did Steven Moffat do?  Did he start a massive recall?  Did he get on twitter to declare that anyone who spoils the show was a twat?  No, he just got on the net and asked very, very nicely, could those 210 people please not ruin it for the rest of us, and they listened.  So great is the respect within the community for this show, it’s writer and the institution of must see TV, that they did not reveal a thing.  Websites gave spoiler free reviews, asked people not to say anything in the forums and sometimes even closed down the comments sections, just so us not lucky enough to get preview tapes or be the result of an administrative error, didn’t have the excitement factor taken away from us.  Not that they didn’t take a little bribing, but true to his word, as a reward for this altruistic act, Moffat released this footage on the DW website last night:

A little underwhelming, yes, but it’s a nice gesture.  Though it does look like this was going to be released at some point anyway, and I probably could have waited.

I’m not going to rehash the story of this week’s episode here.  If you haven’t seen it yet, what the fuck are you doing reading this?  Didn’t you read what I just wrote, go away and get downloading, legally of course.  I’ve watched this episode three times now, only because JH agreed to go to the cinema with the guys before realising that Doctor Who has been pushed back to 7pm so had to leave just as it was starting (he was traumatised by this, and I had to pause the TV and almost physically throw him out the door).  So that meant a second watch when he got back, but it was late and I’d been drinking wine and tweeting about Eurovision all night so was too tired to make notes as I normally do with my second watch.  It’s also taken me three watches just to get my head around it.  The first time I was left with a slight hollow feeling, one that I couldn’t explain but I just didn’t feel that I bought the whole impossible girl resolution.  The obvious stuff was in the front of my mind: if this is the answer to why the Doctor keeps seeing her, why does her fate not end the same way as the Great Intelligence?  Why is it that the eleventh incarnation is the only one that notices when she’s been there the whole time (this is easily explained, because this story was dreamt up after all the other incarnations had left)?  How can the Doctor go in there himself?  The answer we were promised only really ended up posing more questions.  After the second time, I realised that the only way this had been covered was by River uttering her infamous catchphrase ‘Spoilers’, which just felt like cheating to me.  It wasn’t until I watched it the third time this morning that I understood what it was:  I was incorrectly watching this as a series finale, when it is in fact, as the rest of this half of the series has been, a prequel.  That damn 50th anniversary special.  When they announced that they would be making one, I cynically assumed this would be something in the vein of the Christmas specials or the Comic Relief/Children in Need skits (telethons for those of you not in the UK).  You know, clunky dialogue and shameful guest cameos, but ultimately dispensable in the overall mythology.  Apparently not.  This is going to be the TV equivalent of the number 42.  This is going to be life, the universe and everything.  Or at least, it better be, or I’m going to throw a massive hissy fit.

This may seem like I didn’t like the episode (I find myself saying that a lot in reviews . . ) but I did, I loved it, mostly because of the big man himself, Mr Moffat, for finally coming in and showing all the other writers how it’s done.  The thing I love about TV, apart from the fact that it’s beamed into your living room and you can pay a flat fee and watch as little or as much as you like (kind of), is that in this world, the writer is king.  Yes on set the director is in charge, but when it comes to award ceremonies, it’s the writer that gets up on stage, and I firmly believe it’s the writer that makes the show.  Not only are they ultimately responsible for whether or not it’s an interesting story or makes sense, they also provide those joyful moments when it’s just two people on screen exchanging dialogue that makes you want to break down neighbour’s doors and quote it at them.  Screaming.  In your pants.  Or is that just me?  Steven Moffat writes the kind of dialogue that you just want to hear over and over again, that makes you curse the day he was made head because he doesn’t get to do it as much.  Blind man’s buff, I’m sorry, I think I’ve been murdered, the Doctor lives his life in darker hues, since no one else in the room can see you, god knows how that looked, the list goes on and on and on, I could do this all day.  He’s starting to remind me of my favourite writer Douglas Adams, who I have always said couldn’t quite write a story, but boy could he write a sentence.  Well Steven can write a story, maybe sometimes one that is too clever for it’s own good, but he can, but mostly he can write characters.  Matt Smith and Jenna-Louise Coleman haven’t really been given much this series, but did they make up for it or what?  This is Smith’s finest performance, outstripping all his zany stuff before.  When you have such sublime writing, you can do things far more subtly, and both the leads delivered on this.  The dynamic between the two, which had a dodgy start and has slowly grown in quality over the past few episodes, really makes sense here.  You forget all about the Ponds, these two were meant to be together.  Moffat shows us how Clara can be the independent, intelligent and realistic girl that she is, within out losing the fun factor: how many other assistants would have thrown away the candle?  Moffat worked with that knowledge and slotted it in perfectly, instead of ramming it in there without any grace.

Of course, the best character in all of his work is the magnificent River Song, played by Alex Kingston.  I love her (‘disgracefully’), but more importantly we understand why the Doctor loves her.  Their final scene was beautiful and heartbreaking, not just for the characters but for us, as I fear this was her swansong.  Please find a way of bringing her back, please.  She has done more for older women in TV than any uproar about Strictly or Countryfile presenters could do (she is 50 and is more alluring than any of the other companions put together, though I’m sure lots of male viewers will disagree due to the length of some of the skirts).  The other characters are, as always, a joy, Strax again bringing a lot of light relief (‘Don’t worry sir, I think I’ve got him rattled!’) but Madame Vastra and Jenny holding their own as well.

One complaint I do have is the terrible green screening.  This was something they could do little about, as it was necessary, but still, awful.  However, this sort of special effects is what DW was built on, so I can’t complain too much.  I also was not keen on Strax just bringing Jenny back to life.  Have I missed something?  Could he always do that?  My memory declines steadily as I get older, but when did he get that gizmo?  If I have completely forgotten this device and it has at least been mentioned before, please let me know in the comments, it is really annoying me.

Despite these glitches, there were also some very nice touches.  The nod to The Bells of Saint John (‘I don’t know where I am’), the incoherent anguished cry of the Doctor before the tomb opens that has you hurriedly rewinding, replaying and still not understanding what he said (I think it was please, and before River explained I thought for a moment, his name can’t be please, that’s stupid) and the TARDIS willfully looking out for the Doctor as always.

Overall, this was a fun, exciting, rollercoaster of an episode that almost made up for the lack of direction and awful writing that this series has suffered.  It’s just a shame that it didn’t get to stand up in it’s own right, and was just a stepping stone to the anniversary.  However, with that ending and the mention of the Valeyard (google it), I can’t wait until 23rd November.  Goodbye sweetie.

9/10 (would have been a 10 if it was a proper finale and not just another plug for the 50th)